Don't Be Such a Baby!
When I started this blog I did not intend for it to merely be a video blogging site where I talk about my video stuff. I wanted it to be a general blog about my thoughts and my life, but since video is a big part of what I do and who I am, all my posts to date have been on this topic. Today I want to stray a bit from the norm and talk about something else.
I've really had to keep something at the forefront of my mind lately and it pertains to the faithfulness of God. You see, I'm a big baby. but before you laugh at me, you're a big baby too. we're all a bunch of complaining, whiny, obnoxious adult babies. But for the sake of not offending everyone around me I'll continue to only refer to myself in this post.
When I was fired/let go/asked to leave the premises of what is now Tops Fresh Market, I had just became a father of a wonderful son named Judah. I also had zero dollars. My wife was working two jobs at the time and I was working... on not going off in a huge fit of rage, screaming like drunken badger through a small gourmet grocery store. But the more important thing was that I was angry... very angry. I had done everything I could to try and provide for my family, serve God and his church, and this is what I got in return. I was livid! I mean how twisted does God have to be to just, with the flick of his wrist, throw my entire life away like it's a rotten banana?
Now of course I didn't think all this at first. I did the good Christian thing and kept saying "oh, everything will work out. It's an opportunity!... right?... RIGHT? But as time went on and my bank account went in the negative every month, I began to legitimately get angry with God. I literally told him, "THANKS FOR SCREWING UP MY LIFE! THANKS FOR BEING THERE FOR ME! YOU WERE REALLY LOOKIN' OUT FOR ME! THANK A LOT!" These were the words that I spoke to God while driving around town one day. Now for those of you reading this who never allow yourselves to get angry with God, you're probably wondering how I survived the lightning bolt that came soon after my "talk". Well here's the interesting thing. I didn't get a lightning bolt... or spiritual slap, a stern talking to, or even a response. What I got was an amazing Job doing what I love no more than two months after this prayer-rant took place.
Please hold your gasps. I know it's hard to believe and it doesn't make any sense but since when has God's grace and faithfulness ever made sense! Please tell me one time, one incident, one testimony of a sensible act from God. He never does things the way we think they should go. I kicked and screamed and threw a tantrum at God. I was sarcastically throwing his love back in his face. Those of you with teenagers know what I'm talking about. Look at what I said to God in my anger and tell me you haven't heard a teenager say that to their parents. You see, like a little baby, I threw a fit because I didn't get what I wanted. Things didn't work out. It wasn't how I thought it should be. But God doesn't care about how I think things should be. He knows better than to trust me with my own thoughts. That's why He encourages me constantly to focus on His!